I know it’s sort of expected to write a post about motherhood on Mother’s Day. What can I say? I am not the most “unexpected” person in the world. Besides, as I begin this adventure of single parenting for the next several weeks, I am thinking more about being a mom and the responsibility it is.
Before I was a mom I was a student and then a special ed teacher. I completed a master’s degree in one year. I’m not bragging but trying to explain what a rough year that was. I was also planning a wedding, applying for jobs, and trying to spend time with my man. Then I jumped into teaching. Being a first year teacher is not easy. I’m saying all of this to tell you that NOTHING compares to the difficulty of motherhood. However, I can’t begin to compare the joys and rewards either.

Motherhood is tough. The days are long. At bedtime I give kisses and then plop into a chair with my feet up. I’m exhausted at the end of each day! It’s not just physically tiring, though. Most days I am emotionally and cognitively drained, too. Each day in my house you can hear “why”, “no”, and “mama” at least a million times. And those words could come from any one of us.

Yes. Motherhood can be hard. But it’s also the greatest job I’ve ever had. I loved teaching! I was so sad to give it up, but now when offered the chanced to go back to work (usually after telling my man, “I can’t do this anymore!”) I immediately choose staying home. I can’t imagine another job. This is what I want to do. I am privileged to be a mama to these kids. There may be hard times, but at the end of the day I remember the sweet memories. I smile at the memory of Baby Girl proudly handing me the special necklace she made for me at church or of Buddy giving me hugs and slobbery kisses.

So, today, when the country celebrates mothers, I want to focus on how blessed I am to be a mom. I am thankful that God has entrusted these babies to me. I want them always to be little, but I also can’t wait to see the people they become!

Sweet Baby Girl. I love you so much! You are thoughtful, sweet, funny, and so much more! This move has been hard on you (side note: thanks to Mama’s friends for the good advice. Even if she’s still struggling, I feel much better about how I’m handling it! Thank you!) You are overwhelmed. Almost every day you ask if the truck is coming today. I know you’re excited and nervous. I understand completely.

You want to help me so much. I appreciate it. However, some things are better for Mamas to do. Like packing. You wanted to spend quiet time in your room today. Usually you’re asking if you can have it in the living room. That should’ve tipped me off. You couldn’t wait to show me what you did. Of course, you locked your door on your way out, so I had to unlock the door before I could see your accomplishment.

You emptied all of your drawers because you “wanted to take all these clothes to Texas!” I know you wanted to help. I appreciate your sweet spirit. However, Mama had already packed those drawers. I put your hanging clothes in them and they were almost ready to be put on the truck.
I’m not upset at you. You were helping. But boy, I’m tired. And packing things twice makes me more tired.

While you were working on that, I was packing up the kitchen. Buddy was doing his own work:

Yes, you two help me so much!

Thanks, Baby Girl! I love you! Please stay sweet. Please stay generous with your time and your love.

Now, no more packing for you!

Love,

Mama

Buddy, you are ten months old now! I can’t believe how close we are to celebrating your first birthday. I had such grand plans for an awesome party. Now we’ll be in transition and I have no idea if we’ll have a party, if we’ll be with Dada, or if we’ll have any friends or family there. But somehow we’ll do something special for your birthday. It’s a big day to celebrate!

You are now walking! This milestone caught me a little off guard. Your sister walked at 10 months, but she never crawled. You crawled early and quickly. I didn’t think you saw any need to walk. But then about two weeks ago you started taking steps. Now you can walk across a room, turn around, and walk back. I love watching you waddle around. It’s adorable! And sometimes when you lose your balance, you plop down and grunt as if to say, “Ugh. I was so close to getting there!”

You have two teeth. I think there’s another one coming on the bottom, but it just isn’t poking through yet. You walk early, you get teeth late (or later than Baby Girl did). We’re branching out on your foods, though. Last week you turned down your lunch of pinto beans and cheese, sat on my lap and ate my serving of mac & cheese. Today you devoured the kielbasa I put on your plate. You still nurse six times a day, but it’s getting harder. You are just too curious about what is going on around you.
While we’re discussing your seemingly inability to sit still, let’s talk about diaper changes. I dread them. I don’t pay for a gym membership because changing your diaper burns more calories than an hour on the treadmill. You are non-stop! I’m working on mastering putting a diaper on while you’re crawling. I have the onesie and pants down. We gave up the changing table long ago. Now you just lie on the floor. It was safer for all of us!

You love being outside! You crawl back and forth in the tunnel at the park, laughing every time I run from one side to the other. The swing is your other favorite! I’ll miss being able to walk to the park with you and your sister. We are spoiled!
You crawl on grass now. At the beginning you weren’t too sure about the feel of it. The other day you crawled down the sidewalk to the neighbor’s house. That had to hurt your knees, but you kept going! Crazy boy.

Buddy, I love you so much! You make me laugh, with your teasing grin, your funny faces, and your big stories. Baby Girl continues to be one of your favorite people, even though sometimes she plays a little rough. I enjoy watching you grow and learn more about the world around you. I have no doubt that you have the same sense of humor that your sister does. You two will have lots of good times in the years to come.

I know you don’t understand what’s going on with all of the boxes around. I know you won’t remember the first 10 months of your life. But they have been good months. Vermont is a good place to grow up. I’m sure Texas is, too! It doesn’t really matter, though, because you’ll be with your family. And that’s the best place to be!

Love you, big guy!

This post is several weeks late, but I have been wanting to post it. We’ve been so busy lately, and the blog is kind of taking a back seat. I think that’s okay, though, don’t you?

Anyway, when we were in Florida, we went for a walk on the beach. Papa ran ahead to look at something. Baby Girl asked me where Papa was going. I didn’t know. When he came back she went up to him and said,

“Papa, you need to stay where I can see you!”

Think she hears that every once in awhile?

Sleep, you say? What is that? I forget what a full night’s sleep looks like. And I feel guilty complaining, because my man is more sleep-deprived than I am.

I haven’t written about our lack of sleep for two reasons. 1. I don’t want to complain. I want this blog to focus on my blessings. 2. I kept hoping it would get better. And a small part of me is afraid if I write about it getting better, it will get worse.

But I can’t keep quiet any longer! I want sleep!!

Buddy is 8 months old. He has slept through the night twice. Twice. Did you hear me? Twice.

Baby Girl was almost as bad when she was little. Is this hereditary or bad parenting? I’m not sure. We talk of adopting some day, so I suppose we’ll find out then. Baby Girl slept consistently through the night at about 18 months. She was waking up at 4 to eat for a long time. Buddy can go all night without eating, but he wakes up several times crying. Sometimes he settles himself quickly; sometimes he cries for extended periods of time.

The doctor told us to let him cry it out. We would (and we try to), but when Baby Girl starts to stir, we usually end up settling him. Sometimes my man takes him into our (finished and heated) basement to sleep in the pack-n-play. My man stays with him (lest you all think we banish him to the basement to fend for himself).

So, here we are. Sleep deprived and ready for some consistent rest. Like I said, my man is worse off than I am, but he can manage on less sleep than I can.

It really is getting better, with a few rough nights thrown in. Here’s hoping 8 months is the key to sleep. I am single-handedly keeping Clinique in business with my under-eye concealer purchases. We’ve also helped the caffeinated tea industry.

I long for the day when I wake up and think, “Ahh, a new day!” Right now it’s more like, “What? Already?”

Ahh, parenthood. It’s more than I ever imagined it would be.

(Ha ha ha. I hit publish and Buddy started crying. See? He’s like the E-Trade baby with an iPod in his crib. He’s reading my blog!)

Buddy Boy,

7 months ago at this time I was minutes away from meeting you. I still can’t believe that was 7 months ago! Sometimes it seems eons ago, but other days I feel like I was just in the hospital.
You are growing and developing so quickly. Almost every day I find myself amazed by some new thing you’ve accomplished. This week you really started crawling, not army crawl, but taking off on all fours at incredible speeds. Then you climbed up onto the fireplace hearth onto your knees. That wasn’t enough, though, so you began to climb to your feet. You are constantly climbing up things–chairs, the ottoman, the couch, people, etc. Yesterday I saw you climb up onto the hearth and then walk down to the other end. I’m not sure I’m quite ready for all of this growing up you’re doing!

“Now, I know there has to be something good to eat in here somewhere.”

“Mama told Baby Girl to put her toys where I couldn’t reach them. So I decided to learn to climb. Cupcake, anyone?”

You are still the sweetest little baby in the world. You’ve been clingy lately, needing mama more than anyone else. I know I’m loved, but sometimes I’d like to walk into the other room without you worrying about me. You’re still giving my chin slobbery kisses. I love those!
You’re doing great with your schedule and sleeping. It’s taken us awhile, but I’m fairly certain that someday you will let Mama and Dada get enough sleep. Lately you’re too busy to cuddle, but after your 9:00 feeding I know you’ll let me cuddle with you. I cherish those special moments.

You fell asleep holding your sister’s Belle. I’m not sure how you got it in the first place, but I thought it was sweet. Let me just state here, you will not get your nails painted, nor will you wear your sister’s pink hand-me-downs. Just so we’re clear on that. But learning to take care of baby dolls? Sure. You’ll make a great daddy someday!

Happy 7 month birthday, Buddy! I love you more than words can express.

Dear Baby Girl,

Today you turn three years old! Three! Already! I can’t remember my life without you. And truthfully, I don’t really want to remember. You brighten every day of my life. Sometimes you drive me crazy, sometimes you talk my ear off when I just want silence, but I wouldn’t trade you for anything.

You are a great kid. I’ve never met anyone so funny, so sweet, so stubborn. Your sense of humor amuses and amazes me. I didn’t know three year olds could have such a good sense of humor. I can tell when you’re joking; you get a little glimmer in your eye, just like your Papa does. If I don’t catch that you tell me, “I just joking you, mama.” You enjoy being funny; you like to check, “Am I being funny, Mama?”
You have a sensitive, sweet spirit. You don’t like to see people or animals hurting. Again, I can’t believe that a three year old could be so sensitive. You run and get ice for boo-boos, you give hugs to the crying, you give gifts to those who need them. Never lose that sweetness. I pray that you always look for ways to help others.
And boy, are you stubborn! We’ve had several sit-ins at the dinner table, where you refuse to eat that one bite that we want you to try. Of course, 99% of the time you love whatever the food is. Goober. I’ve heard many times in the last few weeks, “I can do it myself!” or when going to the bathroom, “Don’t bother me.”

Your independence grows daily. I’m so proud of the girl you’re becoming. It is hard to watch you grow up, but it’s also so exciting. I look forward to watching you grow more in the next year.

Last week I watched videos from your second birthday. You’ve changed so much in the last twelve months. It’s hard to imagine what you’ll be doing and saying next year at this time. I want to enjoy every minute of watching you grow. I know there are frustrating times. I know that I will lose my patience. I know that you will make mistakes. But I hope to cherish the wonderful times because those are the memories I will keep close to my heart.

I love you, my Baby Girl. Thank you for making me a better person. Thank you for teaching me more about love and life. Happy birthday, sweet girl!

My girl at one week.

My girl at 3 years, with mismatched socks.

One of my first pins on Pinterest was a birthday question/answer notebook. I already have a notebook for Baby Girl’s birthdays. It’s a guest book for each of her parties and I write down the theme. I decided to add the 20 questions to her birthday notebook. Hopefully I can remember to do it each year.

I had to share her answers, because some were so sweet and some made me laugh.
What is your favorite….
color?   Blue and purple
toy? piano
fruit? orange, apple, banana, and…grapes (we’re still working on the concept of “favorite”)
tv show? Clifford, George, “A Hat” (The Cat in the Hat)
thing to eat for lunch? macaroni cheese
outfit? shoes (black ones)
game? “hip, hap, ho” (tic-tac-toe, which by the way, she has no idea how to play)
snack? crackers (first she told me “Moe’s”, and I had to explain that wasn’t a snack, but a restaurant. She does love her Moe’s, though!)
animal? kitty (“hitty”)
song? ABCs
book? “Don’t be afraid.” (When I questioned her she went and got out her Bible and said, “Don’t be afraid. You will have good news.” I asked if her favorite book was the Bible. She said yes. Melt my heart.)
cereal? Cheerios
thing to do outside? rake & jump in leaves
drink? water & milk & hot cocoa
holiday? Christmas
thing to eat for breakfast? pancakes and water and milk
What do you take to bed with you at night? “amimuls” “I am scared of the dark sometimes. It is dark in my room and outside. I hug my amimuls so I am not scared of the dark.”
Who is your best friend? Gigi and Caleb
What do you want to be when you grow up?   (Ready for this one?)   “a Daddy”  (Oh jeepers, have I got some explaining to do!)

And in a nutshell, that is my daughter.

Baby Girl is in the middle of a few stages: the “why” stage, the imitate everyone else stage, and the “I’m a ham” stage

Today she asked me to go in the kitchen with her. It was at the tail end of quiet time. I was cuddled under Grandma’s afghan reading my new Kindle…oh my, I LOVE it! I told her I wasn’t going to get up right then because I was finally warm. I knew she just wanted someone to go into the kitchen with her, maybe someone she could convince to bake cookies with her. She kept saying, “Come, mama.” I kept saying, “Why?” She looks at me and says, “You keep saying WHY!” And I laughed out loud. She sounded just like me! There are times when she keeps asking why and I eventually say something similar to what she told me.
When I told her Dada the story later she laughed just as hard as I did and then said, “Oh my goodness!” Umm…where do you suppose she’s heard that?

The kid makes me laugh.

Wowza! I can’t believe I have a six month old! I know I’ve said that every month, but it’s true! My baby boy is six months old! I am seriously blessed with the sweetest baby on earth and try to enjoy every second with him.

Here’s what’s up with Buddy:

• He eats cereal now, usually while we’re eating dinner. He’s actually opening his mouth for it (before we were shoving it in). He enjoys banana puffs.
• He is getting up on hands and knees. Mostly, he’s “crawling” backwards, but he is so close to crawling!
• Anything Baby Girl does makes him giggle. They love to giggle together, playing the same games over and over.
• He’s wearing 6-9 months, but he still fits into those 6 month Christmas outfits I bought him last year…score! He has worn a Christmas-y snowsuit that is 12-18 months, but it also fit Baby Girl when she was 12 months. He’s probably swimming in it a little bit.
• We’re still waiting for the first teeth. Poor child has a rash on his chin from all the drooling. I hope his come in soon…for all of our sakes.
• He is 19 pounds, but his thighs continue to chubb up. I love my chubby babies!
• When I ask for kisses he sucks on my chin. It’s the sweetest thing. Sometimes he grabs my face or my hair to pull me to him. That boy knows how to win his mama’s heart!
• His favorite Christmas carol is The Little Drummer Boy…especially the “rum, pa, pum, pums”, and Baby Girl loves to sing it to him.
• He is sitting up on his own now and only falls when he’s diving to grab something. He’s a quick one, too! He managed to dive forward, swivel 180 degrees, and get his hands into the bowl of chocolate my man was using. All I heard was, “No! Don’t put your hands in there!”

We are looking forward to his first Christmas! Baby Girl was 11 1/2 months for her first Christmas, so this will be a different experience, for sure.