Our family
Posted by Blessed Mom in Confessions

So every time I’ve opened my blog I’ve tried to write a post, but nothing has come to me. My man and I have been busy but we weren’t sharing all of our activities. But we’ve decided that we should share our journey. Now, before I get too far and you are all sitting there trying to figure out what I’m talking about, I’ll just share it with you.

We want to adopt.

That wasn’t so hard to type. At first we planned to keep it all quiet and only tell when we had our new child. But we’ve come to realize that we could use the prayers and the help and the advice. We don’t know anyone locally that has adopted but we’ve spoken to several people from other states who have adopted. They’ve been encouraging and helpful.

First, I’m gonna share some of the why. Why adopt? We are physically able to get pregnant and give birth to adorable, healthy children. Sometimes I feel guilty that we would adopt when we can have our own children, but then I’m reminded of the number of children who need a loving, safe home. That’s one reason why we want to adopt. We want to bring a child into our home who might not otherwise be part of a loving family. We also want the opportunity for our family to love someone in a way that reflects how God loves us. How He unconditionally welcomed us into His family, without question, without thought of the cost. Another reason to adopt? We want a bigger family. When we had both of our kids, the pregnancy and postpartum hit us hard! Essentially we spent almost 2 years stressed and tired, mostly because of my crazy hormones. And while in the grand scheme of things 2 years is not a long time, when you have two children 2 1/2 years apart, it makes for a long four years. I am not naive; I know that we won’t sleep any more and we won’t be free from stress through adoption, but I do know that my body won’t be recovering and trying to find its normal again.

Second, how will this all look? Short answer? I have no idea. We know how we want it to look, but we’ll see what happens. We discussed foster care and decided that for our family that’s not a route we want to go. We have two children to worry about, and we decided that bringing children in and out of our home would be too much for them at this stage. We didn’t consider overseas adoption because we feel that there are already so many children here who need homes. I think international adoptions are wonderful but not the route we wanted to go. What we’d love is to find a baby or toddler who needs a home, who will add extra blessings to our family. We would love to adopt through the state’s system, but we’re not sure that’s a possibility without becoming foster parents. We have looked at some private agencies. Some of them are just so out of budget for us! There are a few, though, that would work, but they aren’t accepting new families for a year. So, we’re researching our options, praying for wisdom, and talking to everyone we know.

While we’ve talked about this for years, we’ve only spent the last two months really getting into the process. However, it’s already discouraging. We were told by one agency that they get about 7 babies a year. Something she said led us to believe that more people are aborting their babies instead of giving them up for adoption. That thought makes me sick for the babies and for those who would gladly love those babies. I’ve already gotten upset at the system several times. I hate that we are looking to “buy” a baby and that the healthiest ones cost more. The whole thing leaves me frustrated. But we continue to plod through the information and head through doors until they are closed to us. There are days when I want to say, “forget it.” There are days when I wonder if this will happen for us. We’ve decided to just keep going and see where this leads. Whether it leads to us ever adopting remains to be seen, but we’ll keep praying and keep going.

My need to plan drives me crazy some days, but I think I’m learning to just wait. What will the next several years look like? Who knows! But what an adventure!



2 Comments on "Our family"

  1. So excited for you guys! Keeping you in our prayers.

  2. Kristen says:

    So excited for you! Dave and I spent 9 months researching before we brought Kiara home…through an avenue we didn’t research at all. Happy to share what I learned if you’re interested. :) One thing an agency told me on the phone helped me so much when I was frustrated at the delays: “Every delay and hurdle is from God. If we truly believe in His sovereignty, He is molding your adoption process to give you the exact child He has for you.” That was beyond comforting.

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