Apr
30
Adjustments
Posted by Blessed Mom in Confessions

Baby Girl really seems to be adjusting well to the packing and moving. Or should I say she “seemed” to be. I am a firm believer that the threes are harder than the “terrible twos”, but she’s been a little bit worse lately. She whines more. She’s not sleeping well. She isn’t sharing quite as well with Buddy, and she seems to want more alone time.
I’m torn. I know there’s a lot going on. I know it’s hard to take it. I’m struggling and I’m almost 30! She’s 3! Every once in awhile she tells me why she doesn’t want to go to “hexas”. We constantly remind her of the positives, but I know it’s hard, even with a big list of exciting new things.
She’s also been clinging to Dada lately. I think she realizes that he’s leaving soon and we won’t be together. It’s breaking my heart. I hate what we’re putting her through! I just want to take her to swim lessons, the park, anywhere to make things “normal” again. But the truth is, things won’t be normal for awhile…quite awhile.

So, I’m struggling here. I understand her sadness and confusion. Where is the balance between understanding and expecting good behavior? We’re all tired. We all need extra patience; unfortunately, those things don’t usually go hand in hand.

Any ideas? How can I make this as smooth as possible? Help!!!

 

3 Comments on "Adjustments"

  1. Bonnie says:

    Awe. It can be hard!! The best thing I did was lower the standard of behavior from my kids. (It’s temporary and when things are settled you just re-train them again.) The other thing I did was just be with them ALL THE TIME….spend every second with them. Let them see that you are the same, positive and calm, thru everything that needs to be done. You have to show them that trials and change are ok… Pray for strength in everything! Phil. 4:13 :) Try to make this big move an adventure…

  2. Laura says:

    I don’t have anything brilliants but I think what Bonnie says makes a lot of sense – it is okay to lower your standards for a bit (thinking more tv might help with the tiredness of all?) and then go back up to normal when life settles. Do what you can, but also make some allowances.

    And then consistency where possible – bedtime routines, books, foods, etc.

    Special one-on-one outings with your daughter away from your son might help a bit, too? Or make a point to do some one-on-one stuff while he’s napping?

    Good luck!

  3. Tasha says:

    Well you’re in luck because I seem to be becoming an expert on this! I’d say two things will get you through this: Consistency and Grace. So follow through every time but also show that you understand that this is hard for her. I know she’s young, but that girl is smart. So talk to her about it. “I know you are feeling frustrated/sad/etc about this (and say what: mommy has to pack instead of play/we have to have all these boxes in the way/we are moving and you’re not sure you want to/etc) BUT we don’t (fill in the blank with bad behavior). What has always helped me is to find the difference between what is down right disobedience and what is just childhood misbehavior and reaction to a stressful situation. Respond thoroughly and directly to the disobedience and show grace for the rest. And USE the word grace. This works wonders with my boys. “I know you are just feeling very frustrated about the move so I’m going to show you grace on this, but if it continues you will have a consequence.” And then hug and kiss the worry away. I’ll be praying for you. There is a whole to adjust to now and in the immediate future. But just remember consistency and grace. You’ll get through it! If I haven’t lost it yet, neither will you!

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