Awhile ago I posted from my heart. It’s a struggle I have often. What’s my purpose? Why did I get two education degrees in order to sweep under the dining room table…again? Will I ever feel that I’m using my brain again (other than to figure out how much pasta I need to make a casserole)? One of my readers recommended a book for me to read. I am horrible at reading non-fiction, self-help type books. If it doesn’t have a storyline I often only get 1/3 of the way through it. I know, it’s sad. I have parenting books, marriage books, etc that I have yet to finish (or, ahem, start). So I was skeptical. However, I got it for a penny on Amazon and with shipping it only put me out $4. I can handle that. I also read somewhere that it was short…bonus! My copy of The Invisible Woman: When Only God Sees came in the mail a few days ago and it sat on my desk. This afternoon while my sick baby sat watching another show on PBS I cracked it open. And then I read the entire thing. I wanted to read more; I wanted to finish it. It was inspiring and encouraging.
I started writing down quotes from the book, but then Baby Girl cuddled up next to me and I only had one hand. But here are two things I wrote down from early in the book.
“Shouldn’t someone tell you that you’re going to wake up one day in the middle of a marriage and two kids and feel as if your life has suddenly vanished?” I have felt that way! I look around and say, “Wait, is this what I dreamed of? Is this why I went to college?”
“Your kids cannot give you meaning; your husband cannot make your life count. Only you can find where the meaning comes from–no one else can do it for you. It’s a deep question that has to be settled in the core of who you are, not by what is going on around you. You have doubts about yourself, so you think that everyone else must have doubts about you too.”
The book goes on to talk about doing what you’re doing not for the praise of your friends, acquaintances, or even your family, but doing it so that God sees it. Did you know that the people building the great cathedrals in Europe would put gorgeous carvings behind walls? They didn’t expect people to see them. They did that just to glorify God. They were intentional about their desire to be anonymous. Wow! I often do things so that people will notice. And let me tell you, when my man doesn’t notice the spotless kitchen or the clean and folded clothes put in his drawers, I get frustrated. I mean, doesn’t he know it took me all day to get those tasks down, between holding babies, fixing lunch, kissing boo-boos. Wouldn’t I be so much more at peace if I just did things because I knew God was watching? I think so.
I am going to read the book again. I want to really pour over the words this time (not racing to finish it before babies wake up). I may have more to say about it. I encourage you to read it, though, even if you aren’t a mom. It’s changed my perspective about why I do things the way I do things.
*Update on Baby Girl: She is definitely not feeling well, but she hasn’t thrown up since last night. Early this morning she asked for an ice cream. She’s had toast and has kept it down. Hopefully the fever will go down soon, too! Isn’t it too early for this kind of sickness?